5 Months and One Chapter In Life, Done.
Goodness, it's been quite awhile since I've been here and posted. It took 5 months to get over my hurt. I've thought about it, but I knew what I wrote would be nothing but private banter. Or.. perhaps someone could have learned something from it.
Who knows.
Depression takes a big toll on you, your body, your pscyhe, your whole being.
It consumes you. It is a dark hole in which you must climb out of.
It's not a nice place.
It's a crippling place.
I don't understand how some people can get it, and some never suffer from it.
It took awhile to recover from a major change in my life.
I think I hit rock bottom.
I'm not sure where I was mentally.
Somewhere, one night, I had a bottle of sleeping pills spilled onto the counter. I was counting them. I had a glass of water. I was figuring if they were going to work. And then, I went to bed, leaving everything on the counter.
I nearly did something stupid.
I do know that I had to go through all of the emotions to get to where I am today.
Friends and family played a major role in the recovery.
You can't do it alone.
You need sounding boards.
You need re-enforcement.
It's mid June now. Business has returned. I have leveled out, accepted the change, made some new friends, have dated a little. Had a fling. Played some fantasies.. Let go of "stuff."
I'm learning to be alone with me.
The former partner taught me the ease in traveling, and the joys of traveling. So most of my goals have been centered around, traveling. I'm meeting new friends, and re-acquainting myself with old ones, and planning trips with all of them. I want to have gal pals to explore with.
My head has changed in many ways. No longer do I feel it necessary to be a duo. It's okay to be solo. It's okay to stay home on weekends. It's ok to not be out socially every week. It's ok to curl up in bed and take a nap. It's ok to lay in bed and eat. It's ok to go without a shower for a day. It's ok to flirt. It's ok to cry over a TV show. It's ok to cry over a bad dream. It's ok to cry. It's ok to play my music on the highest volume setting.
I've given up some bad habits.
Picked up some good ones.
And my home is more organized.
I'm not afraid of hurricanes.
I'm relishing in this new singleness.
I'm relishing in the attention.
It's true.
Life is everchanging.
Who knows.
Depression takes a big toll on you, your body, your pscyhe, your whole being.
It consumes you. It is a dark hole in which you must climb out of.
It's not a nice place.
It's a crippling place.
I don't understand how some people can get it, and some never suffer from it.
It took awhile to recover from a major change in my life.
I think I hit rock bottom.
I'm not sure where I was mentally.
Somewhere, one night, I had a bottle of sleeping pills spilled onto the counter. I was counting them. I had a glass of water. I was figuring if they were going to work. And then, I went to bed, leaving everything on the counter.
I nearly did something stupid.
I do know that I had to go through all of the emotions to get to where I am today.
Friends and family played a major role in the recovery.
You can't do it alone.
You need sounding boards.
You need re-enforcement.
It's mid June now. Business has returned. I have leveled out, accepted the change, made some new friends, have dated a little. Had a fling. Played some fantasies.. Let go of "stuff."
I'm learning to be alone with me.
The former partner taught me the ease in traveling, and the joys of traveling. So most of my goals have been centered around, traveling. I'm meeting new friends, and re-acquainting myself with old ones, and planning trips with all of them. I want to have gal pals to explore with.
My head has changed in many ways. No longer do I feel it necessary to be a duo. It's okay to be solo. It's okay to stay home on weekends. It's ok to not be out socially every week. It's ok to curl up in bed and take a nap. It's ok to lay in bed and eat. It's ok to go without a shower for a day. It's ok to flirt. It's ok to cry over a TV show. It's ok to cry over a bad dream. It's ok to cry. It's ok to play my music on the highest volume setting.
I've given up some bad habits.
Picked up some good ones.
And my home is more organized.
I'm not afraid of hurricanes.
I'm relishing in this new singleness.
I'm relishing in the attention.
It's true.
Life is everchanging.
posted by So FL Gal at
6/24/2006 07:43:00 AM
1 Comments:
Hiya Lynnie--
It's been a while since I came by the blog--been a while since I posted in my own.
As you know, we've been chatting elsewhere and it's so good to see you back to your vibrant self, able to ride like a dolphin through the ups and downs.
Eri
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