The Girdle with The Eyeholes

i'm not in panic mode.
i haven't had a real date in a long time, and friday night, i have one!!!!
i mean... i've had a date here and there, but not a REAL date.
one that i'm excited about.

i met Mel on Craigslist.
i posted a stupid post seeking to find someone to date,
and she answered it. i must remember to ask her what she was doing on Craigslist.

anyway, this gal told me she's neurotic about her eating habits, exercising habits..
and that she's skinny and hard.
and very, very feminine.
and has never been with a lady before.

i have to sit here and drink my beer and think about this.
am i nuts?

so today, i was digging through my panty basket when i came upon my body girdle.
the ones that pull in the belly, and waist.
it has "cartilages" to create support.
it has a million eye holes in front and at the crotch.

so i put this thing on and see how it feels.
tight.
i feel like i'm in a suit of armour.
so i sit down in this thing.
ok, so i won't be able to eat alot.
can't do that on a first date, anyway.

but when you have to go pee...
you have to either pull the whole thing down to your knees,
or try to unsnap the crotch eye holes.
oy vey.

it took me a good 3 minutes to get the eye holes undone,
and another 5 minutes to try and snap them back.
who's idea were the eye holes at the crotch?
how is someone supposed to drop their head, get close enough to see the eye holes without dropping your glasses into the toilet or on the floor, and under the next stall?

and why do i have to suck in my belly?
and why do models have to be so thin, and i have to wear some ridiculous thing with eyeholes at the bottom of my crotch?

i shall post after my date with this woman, and my girdle with the cartilage and eye holes.